


Solitude

by Sashataakheru



Series: Pisces Rising - Astrological Dystopia AU [2]
Category: The Move RPF
Genre: 750words, Alternate Universes, Divination, Exile, Gen, Gods and Goddesses, Madness, Work In Progress, astrological dystopia, desert wanderings, idek
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-21
Updated: 2013-07-07
Packaged: 2017-12-09 02:45:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/769059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sashataakheru/pseuds/Sashataakheru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Knowing the future can, sometimes, bring peace.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, y'know. Not done with ... wtfever it is this thing is. Roy's POV. Will probably end up posting bits and pieces to it as I go. Maybe one day, it'll be a novel.

The Seers lived in a building separate from everyone else. It was neither ornate nor plain; Seers were held in high regard, but they could still be exiled or killed without much thought if they got their predictions wrong. The precarious position the Seers occupied rendered most of them mute, not wishing to jeopardise their positions. Thus, the Seers lived in a building that was, on the whole, completely silent, save for, perhaps, occasional chanting or singing by a small group who felt secure enough to use their voices.

The building itself was often referred to as the Hermitage, though it was more properly referred to as the Oracle. It was loosely modelled on what the architect presumed the ancient temple of Apollon in Delphi looked like, and its inaccuracies made it look neither modern, nor ancient. 'KNOW THYSELF' was carved above the entrance, though it was not readily visible as it sat behind the vast columns supporting the roof in front of it.

Inside, there was a main atrium, where the public could come to consult the Oracles. Once the appropriate offerings of either food or money were paid, questions were written down and left on the grand altar at the end of the room. Guards were always present to keep everyone honest. Answers were given every week at noon on Saturday, the only day that questions could not be submitted. 

The atrium was all that most people ever saw of the Oracle. Only Seers were allowed in any other part of the building, along with their small selection of assistants and Seers in training. Beyond the atrium were shrines dedicated to certain Gods, to whom questions were asked and answers delivered. There was a large meditation room where the Seers gathered for silent prayer and worship. 

The second floor contained a dining hall with an adjoining kitchen, separate bathing areas for male, female, and androgynous Seers, and a selection of small meeting rooms. 

The library took up the entire third floor, and contained all the predictions, birth charts, oracles, questions, and answers. It was filled with occult books, and other tomes filled with arcane knowledge that were mostly forbidden to the general public. There was a small room, hidden from the main part of the library, that only the three High Seers could access that held much more dangerous knowledge. 

The fourth floor contained the sleeping quarters for most of the Seers. These were mostly single rooms, small, with basic but comfortable accommodation, and adjoining bathing facilities. 

The fifth, and final, floor, was where the High Seers lived. The entire floor was given over to them, and each had large, plush accommodation with rich furnishings and private bathing facilities. Each had their own private shrine areas where they made their predictions. Only their personal assistants could enter these areas to take the predictions down to the other Seers.

* * *

In many ways, it was a very strange world to live in. I can only write about it now because I have long since left it, but they will not chase after me now. I live in exile, abandoned to the deserts. My writing is all the voice I have now. I am so used to being silent that I have forgotten how to speak. But I do not despair. I have shelter in a cave, and am friendly with the local tribe I met out here, who bring me food and water in return for predictions and sacred knowledge. 

It feels like a long way from the old hermitage, though. I have not seen it for many years. I was told I was going to be a Seer when I was seven, and that was when I was taken from my parents and began living in the Oracle. I wish I could say I didn't know what I was getting into, but every child knows their future when they turn seven. I knew mine, though I think, perhaps, that I saw more into it than even the High Seers knew. I foresaw my exile and they did not. Perhaps that was why I was exiled. I'm not sure I will ever know.

It is a strange place to live when you are a child. I was taken in with the other new Seers, and our training began. I still don't really remember most of the early days I spent there. We underwent initiations and other rituals to open us up to the voices of the Gods, to whom we would be dedicated, and began learning how to make predictions. 

It was not a hard talent to master, but perhaps it is meant to be that way for those chosen as Seers. I learnt how to hear the Gods and make my predictions, and when I was thirteen, I was promised to Dionysos and Apollon. When I was seventeen, there was a final initiation to mark my transition from student to Seer. I bore the mark of a Seer then, and was given my proper robes. My life's work began then. 

I served the twins as diligently as I could. Not every Seer ever believed they were working with real Gods, but I experienced Them enough to believe They were real. They were as similar as They were different, and taking oracles for Them was hard and maddening. But I learnt to cope, and worked as best I could to serve the Gods I'd promised to serve.

I am not the first Dionysian Seer to be exiled; I believe every single one has been exiled, which makes me wonder why they still bother promising them to Him. But Seers are not meant to change the future, just to speak what will be. The people wish for certainty, and that is what the Seers provide. But Dionysos does not care for certainty, and I suspect He does not care for the Seers at all, at least not while they work in the Oracle. Perhaps that is why He always orchestrates their freedom.

I always knew I would be leaving, though, so when I knew I'd given a wrong prediction, I hardly wasted any time in making amends. I packed my things and left as the High Seer came to exile me. So I like to think I was not exiled, not officially. But that is how they will record it. My name will be struck out, and I will be cursed. But it matters not. My Gods are with me out here, and my work is purer. I can see much more clearly out here, and the madness that dogged me at the Oracle has subsided. The Gods are at peace, and I am happy.


	2. Up In Smoke

Strange omens this morning. One of the tribesmen had brought some fruit and bread just as I'd begun the smoke reading. I wasn't sure what I was seeing was real. The tribesmen sat beside me and we peered into the smoke, watching for what they were telling us. His name was Echellas, and I'd spent some time teaching him how to divine already. He pointed at a sliver of smoke, and I wondered what it meant.

_I see travellers_ , Echellas had said. _Travellers sent by the thrice-great one._

I merely nodded. _Hermes sends travellers across the desert. They are heading this way._ I added some smoke to the fire and brought up an image. _Two mortals, one a Seer from my city, and the other a young man. How far away are they? Do you know this part of the desert?_

Echellas considered the scene before us. _Three days, at the very least. Storms come often though. It may be longer, if they get trapped._

_Tell your scouts and sentries to keep an eye out for them. They are coming to see me, I think, though whether they know it or not, I don't know_ , I said, watching the smoke spell out its messages.

Echellas nodded sagely. _There is a caravan coming back soon. They may find them. I shall send a bird to see if they might guide them back to us. I must go now. I will bring them here as soon as they arrive._

I was only half aware of him leaving. I was already recording the omen in my book, hoping to understand what it was trying to say. Smoke readings were always flighty and hard to get right. They were too fluid. Still, I had done enough to be able to read them mostly accurately.

* * *

I dreamt of Hermes as the days progressed and still the travellers had not been seen. I checked the omens every day, just in case I had been mistaken, but I was reassured they were coming. I was not entirely sure, though, not after a week had passed and they had not been seen at all. I felt patience was required, but it's hard to be patient when you know something is meant to happen, but not actually when it is meant to come to pass. It was entirely possible the desert had defeated them. I had seen that happen too many times now to be entirely sure they would come here safely. 

It took another week before the two men were carried into my cave. They had been found lying in a cave, sheltering from a sandstorm by two tribesmen who had gone out seeking them. I'd seen that they were close, that they were still out there somewhere, but not really knowing where, except perhaps somewhere in the East. If Hermes had abandoned them, I feared for their safety.

They were thin and weak when they were brought to me. I called for Echellas and the healers, as well as some food, to ensure I could care for them properly. How they had ended up in such a condition when Hermes was meant to be protecting them, I did not know. But they are but mortals. Gods can not do everything to protect us. We are too weak, sometimes, to survive the trials of Gods and heroes.

We cared for them for a week before they seemed to wake. It had been made clear to me by Hermes that they had not been able to withstand the storm, and He had called on Hypnos to make them sleep until the storm was over. He had sent out messengers of His own to ensure they were found by us, and He asked that we care for them until they were strong enough to continue travelling. The journey across the desert was a long and difficult one for the strongest of mortals; it would destroy anyone weaker, even with the protection of the Gods. I was not sure these two would make the journey, but I did not question Hermes about it. If it was His will that these mortals cross the desert to the Roman city I have only ever felt was legend, then I was not about to stand in His way.

I watched Hermes watch over them all week. I had never seen a God in the flesh before, but there He was, sitting beside them with His winged sandals and cap, tending to them as if they were His children. I had not seen a God care for mortals before, not like that. Back in the city, the Gods were celestial beings, and we channelled Their oracles. Sacrifices were sometimes made to Them, but the oracular traditions were the most common form of worship. Festivals were not held, at least not in public, and there were no temples, only the old hermitage where the Seers lived. Seeing such a great amount of care and interaction for mortals, to see a God who was not up in the sky with Zeus on Mount Olympus, far above the Earth, was a strange sight to behold.

_It has been too long since your peoples were in contact_ , Hermes had said by way of explanation. _It is time for the trade route to be opened, and the two cities joined once more._

_I thought the Romans had died out centuries ago. Do they still live?_ , I had asked.

_They live, and thrive. It is the Apollonians who are isolated. The Romans consider that city to be a myth, but it is real enough. It is time to meet again. Six centuries is too long to be so isolated. The city of Seers is broken and troubled. It is time it was cured of all its ills_ , Hermes had said.

_How is that possible? How can they still live after all this time?_ , I asked, unable to believe it.

_The desert hides all that was once seen. The road has been buried, and it makes the journey harder. But it is not impossible. Nothing is impossible if the gods will it. The path will be laid bare, and Apollon's servants in the old city will be saved_ , Hermes said.

I must admit I did not fully appreciate or understand His words until after they had left us. We had sent them along with two guides who could lead them safely through the desert. I just hoped it would be enough. But like He said, if the gods will it, it will come to pass.


	3. Making Peace With The Gods

I'm not sure why I've ended up leaving my cave. I was happy there, y'know? But then Hermes brought those two men with Him, and suddenly I've been dragged into this whole thing, and I can't do much but go along with it. I mean, you try saying no when Hermes is standing right there beside you, telling you you're coming with them. I mean, you can't, not really. It's all too hard.

I didn't want to leave. I was happy where I was, with my little tribe who cared for me. But it's all different now. I don't really know much about my companions, save what Hermes has told me. I think I recognise the Seer, but not the boy. But neither seem interested in talking to me, so I don't push the friendship. We're travelling companions more than anything else. I can't think what else we might be. 

I know the other Seer is deeply troubled, though. Frightened of his own bloody shadow, he is, and there's not much you can do for someone like that. I mean, he doesn't shy away from me, probably because he thinks I'm kin, but he's still not really with it. He's sick with fever, always calling for Dionysos. I try to comfort him mostly. Y'know, just be there for him. It's not much, but there's not much else to do out here. 

It mostly stops me thinking about the oracles and why we're going on this journey. I know the desert better than I used to, before I left the city. The tribe who took me in taught me how to navigate it, and perhaps that more than anything else is why I am here. I'm helping them find Nova Roma.

Unlike them, I have seen the city walls. I have never been inside the vast Roman city, but I have been close enough to see the walls. Some of the tribesmen were going there to trade, and I asked to come along. Not to go into the city, but just to see it. I just wanted to know for certain that it really existed. 

I can't say how much those walls impressed me. They were bigger even than the walls back in the old city. They reached up into the sky and they looked incredibly thick. You'd never get through them with a trebuchet. That city is a fortress, and well guarded by the six Legions that protect it. I have heard tales about the Roman Legions, and I fear very much ever meeting one. They are more fearsome than even Sparta's warriors. 

I often wonder what it is like inside the Roman city. Is it filled with the glittering marble buildings like we were told? I've seen pictures of them in books in the Oracle's library. I've seen drawings of the Colosseum, where they hold gladiator fights. I've seen drawings of the Temples themselves. Their sheer size and grandeur puts the Oracle to shame, and it was the grandest building in the whole of Neos Apollonia. Their gods are rendered in the finest marble, with bright colours and beautiful gilding. One book said they are given fresh flowers and offerings every day to placate Them, and that there are frequent parades and dancing in the streets to celebrate festivals. 

I must admit, I am not looking forward to seeing if that is true. I am used to how we do religion in Neos Apollonia, where the cult itself is mostly kept to the Oracle. There are a few public ceremonies, but since everything in our society revolves around the Seers, rather than the Gods, most of it is done in private. 

Perhaps that is why things have gone so wrong. The city is worshipping the Seers like Gods, and such hubris cannot go unpunished. That's why the city is so corrupted. Perhaps it is why Dionysos does not wish for His Seers to remain there. But He is a god of wildness anyway; a city is not such a good place for Him.

It is strange, though. I feel like I should have been given some sort of warning for all this, but the gods have been completely silent on this matter. I have not heard from Them in a long time, not to give me oracles, at any rate. They talk to me, They comfort me, but I am not given any prophecy to speak. In many ways, I am thankful for it, because it did get tiresome. Living in a place where everything revolves around the fates, and nothing is left to chance, you become so anxious about every single decision you make. You check everything with the gods first, and hope They will keep you away from danger. 

But living out here, life really doesn't work that way. The tribesmen taught me that, and it was easier to let life flow around me when I was finally away from the Oracle. I wasn't living in a society that prized knowing every certainty. I was called on to make prophecy, yes, but it was not for every little matter that could be thought of. No, the gods would only be asked about the most important of things, to ensure we were not being too demanding. We had no right to know our fates, and the gods could change Their mind at a moment's notice, anyway. They believed, as I have come to believe, that one should not show such hubris and arrogance towards the gods, that we should show humility and piety in the way we approach Them. If They choose to share the fates with us, then there is a good reason for them to do so. But if They remain silent, then perhaps we must count on chance, then, and see where the dice falls. 

Chance is not such a bad thing, though. It has saved me from incessant worry, and my mind is calmer now than it ever was when I was a proper Seer. I feel I have a better relationship with the gods, now, and when I make sacrifices and ask for Their assistance, I feel like I am really being heard. The gods have turned Their faces to me at last, and nothing feels better than that.


	4. Building A New Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I actually wrote this ages ago, but forgot to post it. I've been distracted by other projects, but I'm hoping to do a little more work on this because I really like where it's going and I want to see how it ends.

Nothing has prepared me for what I found inside the Roman city walls. I had never been inside before; the walls, high and made of stone and concrete, are as far as I have ever been. But I am inside now, living in a villa with my travelling companions. I hesitate to suggest we are even friends, though. My fellow Seer, Dionysodotos, says very little, and spends his time reading the old scrolls, searching for history. When he isn't in the library, he spends his time praying to Dionysos. I pity him, because I don't feel there is much here for him at all. 

There isn't much here to do, except read. I am so utterly shocked by everything I read. It is as if everything I have once believed is being disproved before my eyes. I cannot believe my city lied to me to such an extent. I know I am reading the truth, because what good would it do for this city to perpetuate lies for six centuries until such time as we came here again? No, that logic doesn't work, not at all. It must be the truth I am reading about what happened. It breaks my heart to understand just how much we have been deceived, but I know the truth now, and I am glad I have left that place behind. There is nothing left for me there anymore.

* * *

I am not used to the way this city works. I am not used to the rituals, the gods, the way these people live. It is not so bad, not really, but adjusting to it all is hard. I am doing better than Dionysodotos, though. He spends all his time in Apollon's temple now. I am not sure what drove him to leave the villa, as our host has been nothing but kind to us, but perhaps the poor Seer just did not want to be around Roman strangers any more. He was having significant difficulty picking up Latin, and perhaps the language barrier proved too difficult for him to manage.

Andreas, the boy who travelled with us, is doing better. He spends his time with our host's young client, who is about his age. I don't really see them, but they seem to be getting on well enough. From conversations with our host, he has made it clear he intends to allow Andreas to stay as long as he likes, and wishes to be his patron, allowing him a chance to train as a scholar. I will encourage him to do so, because I would like to see the boy take charge of his own life. He would never have had this chance back home, and I think he knows that, too. I hope he finds peace and fulfilment here.

As for me, I am not sure about my future. I feel I ought to stay, for Dionysodotos, because even in our distance, he still needs to know I am here, I think. He always greets me gladly when I go visit him in the temple, and somehow, that place is beginning to heal him. I am not certain all the damage and sickness can be cured, but if the Gods will it, so be it. He is in Apollon's hands now. 

I may take my leave of the city, though, when I feel I can leave him alone. I miss the desert, and I long to find my cave again. I had a happy life out there, on my own, and I loved the tribe who took me in. Maybe one day the Gods will allow me to return to them. Until then, I am here instead, in a Roman city, where I have nothing to do but discover truth.

* * *

 _Do you really think I can make something of myself here, Apollinaris? Do you think the Gods meant for me to come here?_ , Andreas asked me this evening.

_You are clearly here for a reason. Hermes brought you here, did He not? I can think of nothing better for you than to stay here and take up our host's offer of patronage. I think you will do well under his tuition,_ I told him.

_I dunno how I could possibly be any good as a scholar, though. Some of them texts are hard, and those were just the ones I could read. He's got all these weird Greek dialects I ain't never seen before, and I'm meant to be able to read 'em? It's all madness. I can't do it,_ Andreas said.

I watched him talk himself into failure, though I guessed he had become very good at it over the years, given how everyone had given up on him. 

_You can, and you will. You taught yourself astrology, didn't you? So you could find out what your real birth chart was, right? Why do you doubt you can learn? Dialects are pretty easy, once you've got the hang of them. You just need to work on figuring out how the language has shifted from the one you know. After that, it's easy. You know Greek in a way they don't. You know the nuances, the little details, the shifts and quirks, better than they do. Bring that knowledge to their aid. If Hermes brought you here, I would wager that is because you are meant to be here. He rescued you from that miserable city. It would do you some good to make the best of where you are now. He may just take you back home if you're not careful,_ I said.

I watched him shiver a little and he looked away from me. _Yeah, well, look, I ain't good at this scholarly thing, alright?_

_No one's expecting you to already know how to do it. That's why he wants to tutor you,_ I said.

He turned back to me. -Do you really think I can do it?

_I really do, if you put your mind to it. You're not stuck in that city anymore. You're in a place now where you can grow. Your fortune doesn't matter anymore, not the old one. It was always fictional. What does your real birth chart look like, anyway? I'm curious to know how different it is,_ I said.

He shrugged, reluctantly, but went to retrieve it from his papers. I had to smile as I saw it. I knew how to read it well enough to know what truth it held. 

_This chart says you can do it, too, if you don't believe me. It's written here, just waiting for you to discover it. Didn't you interpret this properly once you'd drawn it up?_ I asked.

Andreas shook his head. -I had a hard enough time trying to draw it up properly. I didn't know how to interpret it. I didn't have a book for that, anyway.

_Just trust me, then. Everything you've been through has come to pass. You're meant for greatness, my young friend, if you would only grasp onto it with both hands,_ I said.

He shook his head again, and left. I could tell he needed more persuading, but I hoped he'd come round eventually. I needed him to understand what potential he had, and how throwing it all away would just end up worse for him than when he'd left the city.


End file.
